


A Spectacular Failure

by DoctorV



Series: Archive: Doc's Old-Ass Fake News Fic (Daily Show, Colbert Report, etc.) [9]
Category: Fake News FPF, The Colbert Report, The Daily Show
Genre: Alternate Universe, Awkward First Times, Bad Sex, First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-16
Updated: 2018-03-16
Packaged: 2019-04-01 00:02:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13986135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoctorV/pseuds/DoctorV
Summary: Awkward first-time sex.





	A Spectacular Failure

**Author's Note:**

> Archiving some old old OLD fanfic of mine. This was originally posted to LiveJournal 04/15/2009, with the author's note:  
> "Prompt was "Jon and Stephen have sex for the first time (and it's awkward).""

"So how do we actually...." Jon trailed off.

 

Stephen scoffed. "Well obviously we...um...and then...with...uh..."

 

"You have no idea, do you?"

 

"No."

 

Jon crossed his arms over his chest and stared down at the bed. He hadn't removed his underwear yet, but he still felt awkward and vulnerable and self-conscious.

 

"Well maybe we could...." Stephen trailed off this time, looking lost. Unlike Jon, he was still wearing a shirt ("Colbert/Stewart '08" it said), along with his underwear. Giving Jon a bewildered look, he said unhappily, "This...isn't going to work, is it?"

 

Jon bit his lip, refusing to meet Stephen's eyes. He didn't want to admit it, he _hated_ to admit it, they'd both been so _sure_... "I uh, I don't think so, no."

 

Expression hurt but resigned, Stephen stared down at his own feet, then glanced up again. "Okay," he whispered, voice unsteady.

 

"At least we _tried_ ," Jon attempted to...he wasn't even _sure_ what he was doing. Trying to reassure Stephen? Himself? Make the whole endeavor seem like less of a spectacular failure?

 

Stephen smiled weakly and nodded. "We tried."

 

They stared awkwardly at each other for a moment before looking away.

 

"Hey where are my _pants_?" Stephen asked, frowning as he looked around the room.

 

"Uh..." Jon leaned over the bed and spotted the missing pants. "Found 'em." Leaning over further, he snagged them and sat up. Turning, he was startled by how close Stephen suddenly was; he hadn't heard the man move.

 

Stephen looked just as startled, eyes widening. "I..."

 

"Here," Jon said, shoving the pants at him.

 

Taking the pants, Stephen let them fall to the side as he leaned in to kiss Jon. Their noses squashed uncomfortably for a moment, but they quickly adjusted, tumbling into bed together.

 

It didn't get any easier from there. Later, Jon would swear he almost lost an eye, while Stephen would tell him to let it _go_ already and quit being such a baby. But they _did_ agree that it was the best sex they had ever had...with each other.

 

"Not the best _ever_ ," Stephen added absently, tucked up against Jon's side.

 

"Not by a _long_ shot," Jon agreed, so fervently that Stephen leaned up to raise an eyebrow at him.

 

When Jon smiled sheepishly, Stephen smirked and carefully tilted his head before leaning in for a kiss. "We'll just have to practice."


End file.
